We’re both in our thirties. We’ve been together 7 and 1/2 years. Neither of us has ever been married. Any wedding or engagement, that we are in close proximity to, automatically evokes the same response, “It’ll be you two next!”.
But in response to well-meaning comments, I tend to nod, smile politely and shoot a look at Ordinary Lad – We usually make a speedy exit towards the bar in search of more alcoholic refreshments to distract us from the probing questions.
“If you’re not engaged by a certain age…it can’t be true love or some kind of BS like that”
I suppose it should be a compliment that we seem to be a natural couple and therefore people assume that we will be the next ones down the aisle. Or they could think that we have been together far too long to get married and therefore we have missed the window or because we haven’t already done it, then we should split up… because someone – somewhere will have written that if you’re not engaged by a certain age that it can’t be true love or some kind of BS like that. Some people even decide it’s their duty to tell my lad ‘to pull his finger out’ and ask him when he is ‘getting on with it’. What’s it got to do with them anyway?
It freaks people out that we aren’t married off with little ‘uns running around yet – Perhaps we should be a bit more inventive with our replies and see what responses we get:
- We’ve secretly separated and we just came as each other’s plus one today/tonight
- One of us is already married to someone else seeking British citizenship
- He’s secretly gay and we’re living a lie
Although, we’re comfortable with each other, a Facebook newsfeed full of announcements can sometimes make you wonder when it’s going to be ‘your turn’. You’re a certain age and society constantly reminds you of all that. With a click your phone, images of poster-perfect families and newlyweds can flood your screen before you’ve even had time to grab your morning mug of tea. But you have to remember that everything is not as it seems.
The truth is, like lots of unmarried couples, there is no real reason for our lack of vows; it just hasn’t happened yet. If we allowed outside influences to dictate our timescale, we probably wouldn’t be together.
We lived in his flat for a number of years and since progressed to owning our own house together. In between, we’ve had a break (like Ross and Rachel on Friends – except he’s not a palaeontologist and I’m not a waitress in Central Perk). We got back together, we’ve both changed careers and in between all of that, we’ve made countless lovely memories.
Our journey might be different to others – or it might well be the same – and what’s up with that?
Does it mean that we don’t really love each other just because we haven’t exchanged nuptials yet? And who decides how long is long enough?
We laugh, we bicker, we show affection, we’re lovers, friends and occasionally we’re enemies. But we can’t live without each other; Ordinary Lad is my Ordinary Love.
“Only you two know the score in your relationship and that’s all that matters, isn’t it?”
There are no candlelit baths… Well, we both don’t fit in it together for a start and would bang our backs on the taps. Plus, there’s no way I want his long, hairy toes anywhere near my face.
Despite the toes, here are 10 reasons why I’ll say yes when the time comes… (in no particular order).
- Fills my hot water bottle for me when I need it
- Fetches the Chinese takeaway when we can’t be arsed to cook
- Makes me laugh a lot – sometimes at him, sometimes with him
- Tells me when I’m wrong (although this depends what mood I’m in, of course)
- Cleans the house – but likes to remind me often
- Dances like a wardrobe, much to my amusement
- Cooks the best omelettes ever
- He’s fit (but doesn’t know it)
- He is great with kids – they love him
- Fixes things – very important that he is practical because I’m more academic
I’m sure there are a million other reasons but who cares? Only you two know the score in your relationship and that’s all that matters, isn’t it?
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