It’s the eve of the Full Day at Nursery.
We’ve done the taster sessions with success. The first stay-and-play felt like a trip to playgroup as I watched Little Lass discover the new surroundings, her eyes lit up when she spotted the water table and dressing up boxes. As I asked her key worker some questions, a little boy wandered past us in tears. Little Lass turned to the member of staff and said “little boy sad”. I was so proud of her for showing empathy and knew then that she’d settle in just fine. It didn’t stop the tears that came later though when I realised – she is growing up so fast.
Then there was the 1 hour play where I sat downstairs and had a (full, hot) cuppa and wanted to make a friends with the other two mums sitting with me. One was focused purely on her kindle, probably enjoying a bit of peace and I was looking for some conversation.
The other Mum’s fella kept FaceTiming her to see how their little one was getting on. “What’s he doing now then, love?” She was embarrassed and laughing at the same time “I’m not on my own sitting here you know” she laughed. She was nice. Normal. I wanted to be her friend. Soon, a member of staff came to tell her that her one year old son wasn’t settling and her eyes filled with tears; visibly torn about whether to go and comfort him or stick it out she said “He’ll be coming to nursery full time. I don’t know what to do”. She bravely made the decision to leave him a little longer. I felt for her; none of us knows what the right thing is. Who knows what I’d have done?
The third visit was a 2 hour play and where I fibbed to little lass that I was having a cuppa downstairs and instead, walked round Aldi like a Boss. I could actually browse the Special Buys “look at you child-free” said a friend. “I know, check me out!” Then I had a little cry in my car thinking about how my baby girl makes me proud. Followed by another little cry over a cuppa with my mate. I’d describe them as Happy Tears – but what was wrong with me?
Tomorrow, my little lass is going for her first full day. I’ve had tears of pride and onset panic as I realised I haven’t done the sticky label thingys in her clothes or belongings…
I’m thankful though that her Daddy is dropping her off as I head to work, I’ve got the longest distance so makes sense but although I’ll be gutted not to see her in, I’ll be glad to avoid the emotions. It’s like wanting to let go of her hand but wanting to hold on to it at the same time.
So Little Lass explore, be curious, have fun, learn…. but please wonder where I am, just a little bit x